October 1, 2007

I have gotten SHORTER!  Really.  Somehow, over the past, oh, 5 or so years, I've lost a full INCH!  This is totally unfair because the shorter I get, the more weight I have to lose to look good.  I'm kind of figuring that every inch I shrink in height is going to require me to lose another 10 pounds.  Now, how depressing is that!?!  I'm fighting a "losing" battle, if you get my drift!!!!!!!!  I mean, seriously, I have to lose weight just to STAY THE SAME at this rate, because getting shorter means I'm also getting rounder if I don't drop the corresponding pounds.  Man!  This sucks!  How's that for a wake-up call not too long before the holidays?


October 12, 2007

This morning...at 4:30 a.m. this morning, to be exact...I stumbled outside with Zoe to let her do her "business."  I am not fully awake at 4:30 a.m.  I do what I do only because there are coyotes that run the creek behind my house and I'm afraid that Zoe, who weighs 13.4 lbs. (we went to the vet last weekend, so I know this to be true) would be a very tender little morsel and would make a quick breakfast snack for the pack, should they find her outside at night by herself.  I don't really LIKE being outside at 4:30 a.m.  It's dark and I can't see what's out there.  I know there are "things" out there because every single morning when I let Zoe out and stumble behind her, she is sniffing the air like a crazed animal, snorting and cavorting like she's tough enough to take whatever those "things" might want to dish out.  Yeah, she struts with great confidence as long as I'm behind her.  But this morning was a little different.

When I opened the door, Zoe took off like she had been shot from a cannon.  I figured the stupid rabbit was in the yard...again...having not yet learned that shortly after I turn on the light and make as much noise as possible going out the door a sassy little Schnauzer is going to be launched.  Stupid, stupid rabbit.  The only saving grace is the stupid rabbit is also just fast enough to avoid my sassy little Schnauzer.  So imagine my surprise as I watched in a stupor induced shock (my reactions are a little SLOW at 4:30 a.m.) while Zoe CAUGHT THE...wait a minute...what the HECK did she CATCH?????? 

She was as shocked as I was (thank goodness), so she didn't snap "it" up.  If it was a rabbit, it was the darned slowest rabbit on the face of the earth.  Moved funny too.  Moved...kind of...like...a POSSUM!!!!!!!  Oh, no!  Zoe caught a POSSUM!!!! 

It continued to slink along the fence until it realized it had best go through because Zoe was quickly recovering from her shock.  I was still standing with my mouth hanging open.  She was ON IT!  I was afraid it would bite her, but perhaps the possum was as shocked as I was, so it continued to lumber along the fence with Zoe glued to it's back until it made it's escape through the slats in the fence.  I'm finally starting to wake up at this point and I'm freaking out.  Zoe is going nuts!  SHE ACTUALLY CAUGHT SOMETHING!!!!  She was PROUD!!!!  Then she proceeded to circle and vacuum the entire yard with her nose so she could determine every single blade of grass that dumb possum had come in contact with.  It took her forever to take care of her business...the original reason why we're out at this God-forsaken time of the morning, for crying out loud.

I don't know what you're usually doing at 4:30 a.m. in the morning, but this was far too much excitement for ME at that time.  Zoe, however, is hoping for more close encounters.  I can tell by the way she zooms out the door every time I have let her outside since her adventure.  Yikes!  I don't think my heart would be able to take it if this happened again!  Are possums as dumb as rabbits?  If so, I'm in trouble...


October 13, 2007

I found out this past week that I have a partially torn rotator cuff due to the idiot tailgating me who walloped into the rear of my car on July 20th.  Since it's not torn totally in half, there is a chance I will be able to avoid surgery.  The LAST thing in the world I want to have to deal with now is rotator cuff surgery, especially idiot induced rotator cuff surgery, so I'm hoping and praying the physical therapy and cortisone shot will make a difference.  I get the shot this coming Thursday...I hear it's not nearly as bad as having the dye injected into my joint was for the MRI (if you know differently, I can't hear you...la, la, la, la).  I've already started physical therapy.  And Zoe has decided to help me!

Yes, Zoe is every helpful...I think I've given you a few examples of how helpful she can be when I'm doing tasks around the house.  She's a barrel full of fun when she's helping me do my exercises.  I don't know WHAT I would do without her!

You see, I have this giant rubber band thing that I have to hook to something so I can pull against it when doing my physical therapy exercises.  The best place I have found to hook the giant rubber band thing is on the post of the headboard of my bed.  I have to do 10 repetitions of 2 different exercises and I have to do them with both arms, even though the right side is the only side that is injured.  To motivate me, Zoe jumps up on the bed and proceeds to attempt to bite the giant rubber band as I stretch it in and out.  It makes it so much easier having her there helping me in this way.  I can fully concentrate on doing the exercises properly.  The fact that she's snapping at the giant rubber band doesn't distract me in the least!!!  Ha!

Suffice it to say, Zoe loves my physical therapy and I hate it for reasons that have NOTHING to do with the giant rubber band thing.  You haven't really experienced life until you've had a Schnauzer supervising your physical therapy and motivating you with her teeth!  And you thought a personal trainer was tough!


October 24, 2007

It's official.  The possum is dumber than a box of rocks. 

It was in the yard again this morning.  I saw it about the time Zoe caught it's scent and she was after it in a flash.  The dumb thing curled up in the corner of the fence and played dead.  Dumb, stupid, ignorant.  Believe it or not, I may be as old as dirt, but when my baby is about to tangle with a possum, I can move darn fast!  I snatched her up just as she started sniffing the idiotic thing as it continue to play dead in spite of being prodded with her nose (thank goodness!).   I was so afraid it would bite or scratch her!  So now, not only do I have to make a lot of noise to scare the rabbit out of the yard and keep the coyotes at bay, I'm going to have to figure out how to make sure the yard is "possum free" even though the possum is too stupid to hightail it out of the yard.  At least it's getting cool enough that I don't have to worry about snakes any more.  Or spiders.  Wildlife...sheesh!