June 1, 2009

Ah, summertime is right around the corner and that makes me happy!  The days are longer, the sun is out more and it's brighter, the temperatures are warm, hot, hotter!  My kind of weather...bring it on!

My Honda Prelude is 10 years old now.  I bought it 10 years ago over the Memorial Day holiday and it's so hard to believe so much time has passed.  I remember it so well, it's like it happened yesterday!  I don't get a new car every day, so it was a big event.  I was incredibly excited.  This car had everything my CRX didn't have...a 200 hp engine, a sun roof, automatic locks, anti-lock breaks, it was fuel injected...and that new car smell!  So much has changed since then and my life is very very different than it was at that time.  It makes me a little sad.  My CRX was 10 years old when I traded it in for the Prelude, and life seemed good.  Things were moving forward; going well.  Now, not so much.  I'll be hanging on to the Prelude for as long as I possibly can.  Money is pretty tight (darned medical bills!).  I'm no longer married.  I've changed jobs and gone through some really rough times since then.  Life is a trip, that's for sure!  You don't get to sit around or stay in one place, even if you kind of like it there.  Time moves on.

I'm hoping for better things...more sunshine, warmth, longer days filled with good things...but the seasons of our life aren't as predictable as those that roll around each year pretty much like clockwork.  I could use a little summer in my heart as well as in the weather.  Sure would like to go back 10 years and start that part of the journey over again.  I think I could do a better job of navigating the road this time around.  It would be nice to try...


June 14, 2009

This hits kind of close to home, seems to me...

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as “The O”.  He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you.  My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence.  For I shall save you with Hope and Change.  Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed." 

And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what “The O" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed. 

And “The O” said, "We live in the greatest country in the world.  Help me change everything about it!" 

And the people said, "Hallelujah!!  Change is good!" 

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." 

And the people said, "Sock it to them!  And redistribute their wealth.  Show us the money!" 

And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody." 

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me?  You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" 

And “The O” ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized. 

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?"  And she was banished from the kingdom! 

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?" 

And “The O” said, "Simple.  I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" 

And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!" 

Then “The O” said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." 

And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." 

So “The O” said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" 

And the people said, "Hallelujah!!  Show us the money!" 

Then “The O” said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" 

And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. 

And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage.  And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics." 

And the people said, "Give me some of that!" 

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." 

And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?" 

Then “The O” said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!" 

And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal!  But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates." 

So “The O” said, "Not to worry.  If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.  Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!" 

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted  Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." 

And the people said, "Hallelujah!!"  And they made him King! 

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers.  Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank as a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed.  Manufacturing slowed to a crawl.  And more of the people were without a means of support. 

Then “The O” said, "I am the “The O” - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you!  We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!" 

But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute.  Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung!  You will have to pay more..." 

And the people said, "Wait a minute.  That is unfair!!" 

And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced.  Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power.  Now you shall play by our rules!" 

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" 

But yea verily, it was too late.  The once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope.  And the Change
“The O” had given them was as a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built. 

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" 

But it was too late, and their homeland was no more. 

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW! 

June 16, 2009

I was looking at this magazine that I got in the mail the other day...one of those that is crammed full of all kinds of stuff that you really don't need, but that you wish you could buy.  It had patio furniture and flower boxes and garden ornaments and bird baths and all kinds of fun stuff like that...you know the type of catalogue I'm talking about?  Well this one had something I had never seen before.  A butterfly house.  Really.  I mean, who knew that butterflies lived in a house?  I sure didn't.  But there it was, right next to the "Solar Butterfly Stakes."  "Fill your yard with the wonder of butterflies."  Sounds good, right?  I certainly enjoy butterflies and this "house" was only $17.99 plus shipping and tax.  The description goes on to say, "This hand painted Victorian style butterfly house sits atop a spindle turned wood stake base and features a daisy design."  It's really quite pretty, a creamy ivory color with daisies painted around the base and on the "house" itself.  I'm thinking to myself, "You know, I might just spring for this thing.  It's pretty...it would look nice in the yard even if it didn't actually appeal to butterflies."  So I read on..."Top removes for easy cleaning."  Say what?  Easy cleaning?  Let me get this straight.  I buy a pretty little house for butterflies and they expect ME to clean it for them?  I can barely keep my house clean.  In fact, most of the time, it's pretty messy!  I still have that darned torn rotator cuff and it makes doing a lot of housework (such as scrubbing, vacuuming, mopping, lifting) pretty darned hard, if not impossible, to do.  And the butterflies would expect ME to clean house for THEM when I can just BARELY keep my own decent?  I don't think so!  If I buy them a house, they're going to have to do their own cleaning!  At which point, I threw the catalogue away.  What's next?  The squirrels want me to bury nuts on their behalf?  Maybe the owls would like me to leave them a midnight snack?  This could get out of hand pretty quickly if the word got out!  "Yeah, we got a LIVE ONE at that house on the cul-de-sac...she just bought a HOUSE for the butterflies and she's CLEANING IT FOR THEM!  Can you believe it?  Bet we can get a handout from her too!"  I have enough problems with nature as it is.  The butterflies are on their own.       

June 21, 2009

Wishing all you fathers out there a very happy father's day!


June 22, 2009

Have you ever had someone judge you without giving you a chance to explain? 

 I have recently had this happen.  An old friend decided I was “trying to avoid” him.  He was in town one weekend and was going to call me Saturday or Sunday morning when he knew about what time he could stop by.  He didn’t call.   When morning had rolled into Sunday afternoon without hearing from him, I decided to take a shower , figuring he got tied up and wasn’t going to be available.  He was, after all, mainly visiting his kids and grandkids, which obviously should take priority.  But as I was getting out of the shower, I heard the doorbell.  Couldn’t believe it!  Wringing wet, in my robe, I slunk to the door and peeped out.  He was at the door.  Hadn’t called.  There are very few people I would open the door to when in that state and none of them are male, so I simply didn’t answer the door.  In retrospect, maybe that wasn’t the best solution, but I was so panicked at the time, it was what seemed then to be the best solution.  And frankly, I was a bit annoyed that he hadn’t called as had been agreed.  I felt kind of bushwhacked. 

After that, I missed a couple of his phone calls, though not on purpose.  Not too long after this, he sent me an e-mail telling me he would no longer be trying to contact me because God had let him know that I was trying to avoid him and it would be best if he left it to me to get into contact with him.  At this point, I got pretty angry.  He never asked me if I was trying to avoid him.  He “prayed about it” and “God told him” this was what was going on.  It wasn’t, in fact, the truth.  And I was so angry with him for making it into something it wasn't…and “spiritualizing” his response...I could hardly see straight.  At that point, I decided that I WOULD avoid him because he didn't feel very safe and I didn’t want anything to do with someone who was going to judge me that way.  I did try to explain, but he rejected my explanation, determined to believe I was trying to avoid him.  Which made me even more angry.

I just got another e-mail from him, informing me that he would no longer be praying for me because God had told him it was time to stop.  Now, if he doesn’t want to pray for me anymore because he’s angry with me or whatever, that’s fine.  I’ve appreciated his prayers because, frankly, I need them.  My life has been really hard for some time and I’ve been struggling.  But no one owes me prayers or anything else, for that matter.  He can certainly stop praying whenever he wants to.  But to tell me that God told him it was time to stop praying for me made it something much bigger.  No longer is it just him being done with me, but God is done with me too.  And that really hurt.  Made me angry all over again, true.  But more than anything, it pierced my heart.  It’s the way he always fights…he makes it God’s will…and how can you fight God’s will?  He always does what is right; what God tells him.  Which means you are always wrong.  How do you defend yourself against that?  You can’t.  You are doomed before you start.  So, I’ve lost a friend because I’ve been judged without ever being allowed to explain what was really going on and per that lost-to-me friend, God doesn’t even want him praying for me anymore.  Which must mean I’m so awful I’m not even worth God’s attention and trouble, right?

Part of me wants to fight back, but I know it’s no use and that it will only make things worse.  My words wouldn’t be heard.  I tried once to explain and he shredded me and rejected everything I said.  So I told him, “Whatever.  Can’t fight God, can I?”  I have to let it go.  But it really hurts.  And I’m left to wonder if God has washed His hands of me too, as my ex-friend has intimated.  Bad enough to lose a friend.  But to lose God too…that would be too much.

 So goes life.  One ordeal after another…whoopee!  I just wish it wasn’t so often painful.